


Global Concepts

by Kavbj



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:59:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1299157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kavbj/pseuds/Kavbj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kanda suffers an injury even he can't recover fully from, Komui plans to protect his Exorcist from Lvellie and sends him to live in a small rural village in Japan. 10 months later, Lavi is sent to check on Yuu's safety and the two of them find their lives inexplicably tangled once more. But Komui's plan is failing and suddenly Lvellie isn't the only threat. LaviYuu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This latest LaviYuu is inspired by Robert Delong's Global Concepts. Don't even ask me how. I really do not understand the birth of this plot bunny whatsoever. But it happened, and I'm excited!
> 
> Let me know what you think, hell, even just say hi~! I love reading all your beautiful reviews, and of course, constructive criticism is totally welcomed!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Kavbj
> 
> Oh and please excuse/understand the slight OOCness in this opening. Hopefully you'll see why there is OOCness haha. And I admit this must be the world's longest prologue! Unfortunately I can't promise all chapters will be this long but I shall try my hardest! Aaaannnddd uni is just hectic so I can't promise constant updates but I will try my hardest! 
> 
> Warning: LaviYuu (yaoi) and language. And my attempt at like a paragraph of gore.

**Global Concepts**

******

_Prologue_

_**_

_I think it burns my sense of truth_

_To hear me shouting at my youth_

_I need a way to sort it out._

 

_After I die, I'll re-awake,_

_Redefine what was at stake_

_From the hindsight of a god._

 

_I'll see the people that I use,_

_See the substance I abuse,_

_The ugly places that I lived._

 

_Did I make money? Was I proud?_

_Did I play my songs too loud?_

_Did I leave my life to chance_

_Or did I make you fucking dance?_

**

Lavi whined and rubbed at his shoulder blade. Battling Akuma was a bitch enough of a task without it being in the middle of the market square. Flight or fight was a stupid instinct. It was more like flight, fight or freeze uselessly. There were more locals choosing the third option than the four of them were pleased with.

“Lavi?” Allen called, slamming his innocence in the path of an Akuma’s attack on a father and his two daughters.

“I’m good!” Lavi shouted back, pulling himself free of the rubble. He kicked aside an apple, spared the broken fruit cart a glance, and then searched for the merchant he’d been trying to protect. “Damn it,” he hissed, spotting the pile of ash. He ground his teeth back and forth and swung Ōzuchi Kozuchi over his shoulder. “Allen, how many more?”

“Not many.”

Lavi turned, swinging at the trio of Level Ones coming to surround him. They exploded in turn, and Lavi whistled as he admired the domino affect. “Like ugly fireworks,” he said to Allen as the younger boy came to land in front of him. “Are you done?”

“I’m good. We got them all here.”

The townspeople were starting to show themselves again. Lavi shrugged his shoulders up near his ears, feeling uncomfortable at the loud sounds of crying. Grief. Fear. Relief. Either way, he did not like the sound of human beings wailing.

He was becoming too transparent, he knew that. And he shouldn’t care at all. Should be totally apathetic. But God’s Holy War was a hard war to stay unbiased and unattached in.

An explosion over in the town square, hidden away from view by a row of taller buildings, caught their attention. Lavi took Allen’s forearm, slammed the head of his Innocence down on the ground and ordered Ōzuchi Kozuchi to grow, grow, grow.

“Lenalee!” Allen called as they landed in the town centre. 

He ran off to find Yuu and Lenalee while Lavi shrunk his hammer. Lavi swept the square with a careful eye. There were fewer survivors round this end. Lavi recognised the signs of what must have been a Level Three and cursed their luck. His gaze came to a stop at where the remaining locals who’d populated the town square at the time of the attack were crowding. As Allen moved through them, pushing aside anyone who got in his path in his desperation to get to Lenalee, Lavi tilted his head to get more of a glimpse at what was in the centre.

His eye widened. “No…”

As he ran to join his comrades, the sounds of Lenalee’s screams and sobs became terrifyingly clear amongst the noise of the town folk. He grit his teeth and pushed his way through, bumping shoulders roughly with the Chinese girl as he passed her. She wailed and dropped to her knees, rocking herself forward with the force of her grief.

Thank God he’d seen war. Thank _fuck_ he’d seen injuries, fallen comrades - otherwise he mightn’t have been able to keep his stomach contents down.

“Yuu,” Lavi breathed, dropping to all fours by the Japanese Exorcist’s side. He lifted a shaky hand with the intent of brushing away loose strands of hair sticking to the blood on Yuu’s face but stopped and quickly retracted his hand. “What happened?” he demanded, glaring at Lenalee.

She shook her head, crying so hard so that her whole body shook. “Kanda, he - Kanda, Kanda, Kanda, I’m sorry, please, wake up, wake up,” she gasped in between her sobs. She reached out to cup his face but Lavi smacked her hand away.

“Don’t touch him!”

Lenalee damn near howled as she clutched her hands back to her chest and rocked forward to press her forehead to the ground, dark hair falling around her.

“Lavi,” Allen warned, drawing Lenalee to sit upright. He quickly released her to shove back the villager reaching for Yuu. “He said not to fucking touch him!” The villager stumbled but didn’t fall as those in the crowd caught him. Allen growled at him and invoked his Innocence warningly. “Stay. Back.”

“Don’t touch him,” Lavi repeated, shooting a stern look in Lenalee’s direction and then the crowd around them. Why wouldn’t they just fuck off? “Don’t touch him…”

He clenched his jaw and took in the extent of Yuu’s injury. The left side of his head was broken and caved in. The skin was cleanly split and the skull had cracked open enough to see right through to Yuu’s brain, which was slicked crimson, no doubt severely damaged. Blood soaked his dark hair and coated the left side of his face.

Lavi tilted his head back to stare at the sky, steeling himself. Nausea was climbing up the back of his throat, no matter everything else he’d seen and memorised and recorded in the past years as Bookman Junior. How was Yuu supposed to recover from that, never mind the rest of his injuries?

His gaze snapped back to Lenalee. “What the hell happened?”

She stared back, face dirty, eyes still flooded with tears, bottom lip wobbling. “Lavi - I - “

“What the _hell_ happened!” he demanded, lunging across to pull her hands away from her face. He shook her. “You were supposed to have each other’s backs. How the fuck did this - “

“Lavi!” Allen shoved the redhead back and glared at him. “This isn’t her fault.”

“Isn’t her fault?” Lavi repeated incredulously. “Yuu’s _fucking dead_. We split up and she was supposed to watch his back.” He turned his anger back onto Lenalee. “Are you so used to not having to pull your own weight that -“

“ _Lavi!_ That’s enough,” Allen warned dangerously.

“Like you - _don’t you fucking lay a hand on him!_ ” Lavi yelled. It was the same villager from before. He’d crept up on Lavi’s blind side and was crouched by Kanda.

He drew his hands back quickly and held them up to show he meant no harm. “Please,” he said calmly. “I’m a doctor.”

“I don’t care,” Lavi snarled. Some distant part of him, the only Bookman Apprentice part of him still functioning correctly, groaned miserably. This was supposed to be an act. Part of Lavi’s persona. _Supposed_ to be. He’d lost control. “Don’t touch him,” he said lowly. “Don’t touch him. No one _touches_ him, got it?”

“I’m just trying to help. Has anyone checked his pulse? It may be possible to save him.”

Lavi shook his head back and forth and looked at Yuu’s pale face and dull, slitted eyes. There was no life in that face. But still - inhaling sharply, Lavi began to unbutton Yuu’s uniform. His fingers slipped over the blood coating the silver buttons and he cursed, wiping sweat from his face with the back of his wrist.

“Lavi?” Allen asked.

“His tattoo,” Lavi explained breathlessly. “I need to see it.”

“Is that - “

“Yes,” Lavi gasped, cursing loudly when his fingers slipped over the buttons again.

Allen was quick to help him but once Yuu’s uniform was open, he was quick to move back. Lavi ignored him and instead drew the small knife he kept hidden in his boot by habit. He cut open the black training shirt Kanda wore underneath, ignored the bruises and broken ribs and blood, and looked straight to the tattoo.

“Sir,” the doctor said. “Lavi? I strongly advise we get your friend out of here.”

Lavi shook his head. The tattoo was the same as it had been. No developments. “Let him heal,” he said quietly, pressing his palm to the tattoo. “Let him heal…”

The doctor shook his head and looked to Allen. “Please help me move him.”

“I swear to God,” Lavi warned, voice dripping low with poison. “If you try to touch him for a third time, you’ll need someone to save you, _doctor_. Just. Let. Him. Heal.”

“Why isn’t it working?” Lenalee asked, voice hoarse from her crying. Lavi shot her a dark look and she pursed her lips as she stared back stubbornly. “Lavi, please…”

He scoffed and looked away. “I don’t know. Give it time. He just needs time to - “ He took Yuu’s hand in his own. “Just let him heal. He just needs time to heal.” He bit down on his lower lip and squeezed Yuu’s hand tightly. “C’mon, Yuu-Chan, don’t do this… this is pathetic, you silly swordsman. It’s a Level Three. You’re dying at the hands of a Level Three.” Lavi shook his head. “You just need time to heal…”

He caught movement in his peripheral vision and while at first he thought it might be the doctor, his focus then immediately snapped to Yuu’s face. There. Again. Another flutter of lashes.

The others caught it too. Lenalee started crying again, relieved, and the tension in Allen’s frame began to melt away. The doctor muttered his disbelief and the crowd began to murmur.

Lavi ignored them all in favour of the Japanese Exorcist. “Yuu?” He squeezed Yuu’s hand again. Yuu’s lashes fluttered again and Lavi stared at those lifeless eyes, waiting for them to gain awareness. He called the older teen’s name again and this time, the flutter of lashes was a proper blink of blue eyes. 

Lavi exhaled loudly and closed his eye. Thank the fucking Lord.

Yuu’s hand moved in his grip and Lavi looked down at it, watched as those fine fingers clenched experimentally and that thin wrist twisted in his hold. Suddenly, Yuu’s fingers snapped into a fist and Lavi felt the muscles in his forearm go rigid.

“Yuu?” Lavi asked, clasping his hands around Yuu’s fist. He gagged suddenly, recognising the smell of burning flesh as Yuu’s regenerative abilities finally kicked in. “I know,” he soothed. “I know, I know.”

“Oh my God,” Lenalee whimpered, closing her eyes as she held her hands to her chest. “Thank God. Thank God.”

“Will he be all right?” Allen asked.

“Don’t know,” Lavi admitted. “I’ve never seen him this heavily injured. I’ve never seen him die before.”

Sure, he’d read the files. Knew all about Yuu’s bloody battle with Alma. Knew about the Innocence Synchronisation tests. Knew that Yuu’s body kickstarted, rebooted, recharged every time. But he’d never seen it firsthand. 

“As soon as… he’s healed,” the doctor began. “We need to move him.”

Lavi regarded him and nodded slowly. “I’ll let you know when he’s healed enough to be moved.”

The doctor nodded respectfully and turned his gaze back to where Yuu’s bruises were fading away and his ribs were mending themselves. The laceration on the brain had already been healed and Lavi waited patiently to see Yuu’s skull mend itself. Once it had it would only -

Yuu screamed, mouth opening wide to reveal sharp canines as he clenched his eyes shut. His back arched up off the ground, threatening to snap, and the hand that Lavi wasn’t holding clawed in the dirt. He screamed again, ripping his hand free of Lavi’s grip to clutch at his head with both hands.

“No, Yuu,” Lavi said urgently, fighting to pull Yuu’s hands back down with Allen’s help. The Japanese Exorcist choked on another scream, blood frothing at his lips and spilling down the side of his mouth. “Fuck, help us hold him down,” Lavi snapped at the doctor as Yuu began to convulse.

Lenalee began to cry again, but Lavi could barely hear her over the sound of Yuu’s choking and screaming.  He pinned Yuu’s wrists down and rest his weight gently on Yuu’s chest, trying to keep him still so that he didn’t injure himself further. The doctor held Yuu’s head carefully while Allen rest his weight on Yuu’s lower body.

“This’ll pass,” Lavi told Yuu. “It’ll pass, Yuu. I promise. Just hold on a little longer. I know it hurts, but just a little longer.”

Pained blue eyes opened to slivers, meeting Lavi’s green eyed gaze for a brief moment before they snapped shut once more and Yuu screamed again.

“Just a little longer,” Lavi breathed. “Hold on, Yuu. It hurts, I know. I know… But please, just a little longer. Just bear it a little longer…”

Lavi dipped his head to see Yuu’s wound. The skull was slowly reforming but no doubt the pain receptor nerves in the skin surrounding the injury were firing off rapidly. Yuu bucked beneath his hold, back arching again, and Allen choked out a curse.

“You,” the doctor said to Lenalee. “Come here. I need you to hold his head.”

Lenalee shook her head desperately. “I can’t,” she cried. “I can’t, I’m sorry. I don’t - I don’t want to hurt him.”

“Lenalee,” Lavi snapped. He licked his lips. “Please. Yuu needs you.”

“You can do it, Lenalee,” Allen added, voice strained.

Lenalee drew in a shaky breath and forced a nod. “O-Ok.”

“Here,” the doctor guided as Lenalee knelt beside him. “Put your hands just here. Try to keep his head as still as possible, that’s most important, ok?” Once he was sure Lenalee was right, the doctor moved to help hold down Yuu’s torso.

“There we go,” Lavi panted as the skull finished mending itself. The smell of burning skin grew stronger as the laceration began to heal. He chuckled breathily, relieved, and smiled down at Yuu’s hazy gaze as he slowly released the Japanese Exorcist. “Done.” He pushed Yuu’s damp bangs back off of his pale, sweaty face, frowning at how feverish the older teen felt. “You’re ok now, Yuu. You’re going to be fine.”

Yuu started at him blearily, lashes fluttering with his exhaustion. His lips, already parted as he panted, opened a little wider as though to say something, but before he could, his eyes rolled back into his head.

“We move him now,” the doctor said, sending Lavi a stern look. “The wound can’t get infected,” he added, signalling for the two men who had been waiting by nearby with a stretcher.

Lavi rocked back onto his haunches so that the men could get by him. He exhaled slowly and closed his eye. Thank. The fucking. Lord.

**

Once the doctor was satisfied that all of Yuu’s external wounds had healed, he helped them arrange a departure time from the train station the next town over and insisted on joining them as Yuu had yet to awaken.

Lavi rest his head against the train window but kept his gaze on the inside of their private cabin. Lenalee and Allen and the doctor sat beside him, the four of them making a tight fit. On the bench opposite, Yuu rested, face pale and feverish, eyes still beneath their lids. There’d been no first class cabins available, so they’d had to do without a proper bed to put Yuu in. Lavi wasn’t overly concerned now that Yuu was healed. They’d be at headquarters in another five hours and Allen had called ahead to warn Komui of the situation.

The doctor stood to check his patient, brushing Yuu’s bangs back so that he could take his temperature. Lavi watched his expression closely and saw the concerned pinch to the man’s eyes.

“What’s wrong with him?”

The doctor looked back at him over his shoulder. Beside him, Lavi sensed Allen and Lenalee stir.

The doctor sighed and ran a hand back through his hair. “Considering how fast your friend healed, I’m concerned that he hasn’t awakened yet.”

Lavi dismissed it with a grunt. “His body revived itself and then had to heal several wounds, including a serious head wound. He’s recuperating. Recharging.”

“I dunno, Lavi,” Allen admitted. He grimaced and rolled his left shoulder. “I mean, I’ve never seen Kanda die, and I’ve never seen him quite _that_ injured, but I’ve seen some bad ones, and the regenerating always goes a lot more smoothly, for one. It doesn’t usually seem to hurt him as much. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen it knock him out.”

Lavi gazed at Yuu contemplatively. He knew Allen was right, had had the same first hand experiences. Still, there was no ignoring the severity of Yuu’s wounds. He’d _died_. “The tattoo,” he said at last. “Check his tattoo again.”

“Lavi, even still,” Allen said. “He defeated Skin Bolic. Didn’t his tattoo change then as well? He was fine.”

“We were separated. We don’t know that.”

“Lavi…”

Lavi ignored him and stood to check Yuu’s tattoo for himself. “We told him to rest, that it was fine and safe. The mission was complete. In the past, he’s still had adrenaline racing, still been in the middle of a battle. It’s possible his mind recognised that he was safe and shut itself down to recover,” Lavi explained as he folded the blanket down to Yuu’s waist and pushed up the loose black shirt the doctor had dressed him in.

“It sounds logical to me,” Lenalee admitted quietly. “We never really see him heal at home. He’s always in his room because he’s tired from the mission. Maybe it’s the same thing. Maybe it’s like what Lavi’s saying and when Kanda recognises that he’s safe, he rests.”

Allen hummed and watched Lavi. “Anything?”

Lavi nodded once. He traced the tattoo with a gentle finger. The tendrils that already speared out from the tattoo’s centre had stretched over the curve of Yuu’s shoulder and crept ever closer to his collar bone. Carefully, Lavi twisted Yuu to see how far over Yuu’s shoulder the tattoo had spread. It stopped a little over the rise of his shoulder.

“I was under the impression the tattoo only changed when he invoked the higher levels of his Innocence,” Lavi admitted as he readjusted Yuu’s shirt and put the blanket back over him. He raked his memories. It was hard to judge when and why the tattoo’s development had grown previously. Yuu had always been immensely secretive, and Lavi could usually only tell if he happened to see Yuu shirtless or if he could see the tendrils peeking past the edges of the Japanese Exorcist’s training shirt. He looked at Lenalee. “How high did he invoke?”

She worried at her lower lip as she thought. “I - I’m not sure,” she said quietly.

Lavi clenched his jaw. “Not to worry,” he forced out cheerily. “It’s a connection to his life force. He sacrifices more of his life force to invoke higher, so it makes sense that it would grow after he died and his regenerative abilities had to revive him. Right?”

“Right,” Allen echoed, nodding his head with a grin. 

As always, they were so easily fooled by Lavi’s persona. The happy go-lucky attitude was contagious, as well, because he could see it eating away at Lenalee’s guilt and Allen’s concern.

The doctor changed this. “You may also have to consider that any lasting damage to the brain, anything permanent, cannot be healed by his - his tattoo.” He met Lavi’s gaze head on. “There was a laceration to the brain and severe damage to his skull. It is possible that damage was done and as it’s not physical, his tattoo has been unable to heal it.”

The cabin was silent.

**

“You were supposed to have his back.”

Lenalee dropped her gaze and clenched her hands in her skirt. “Lavi…”

Allen glanced between the two of them before his eyes darted between the door to the infirmary and Lavi. “You two were intimate, weren’t you? You and Kanda.”

Lavi levelled Allen with a steady expression for a moment then cracked his neck. He addressed Lenalee again. “You were supposed to have his back.”

They’d arrived back 45 minutes ago and Yuu had been whisked straight into one of the infirmary’s few private rooms. The group of three stood dutifully outside the main door to the infirmary, waiting for Komui to reappear and explain the situation to them. Yuu still hadn’t woken up and Komui’s face had been especially grim when they’d quickly explained what had happened. The town doctor’s theory had only darkened Komui’s expression before he’d disappeared inside the infirmary to assess his fallen Exorcist.

“Lavi?" Allen asked quietly. “You were, weren’t you.” He looked between Lavi and the infirmary door again. “It’s why you panicked so much. Why you didn’t want anyone to touch him. You were more than just intimate with him. You love him, don’t you?”

Lavi stared at Allen coldly. “It never surpassed the physical,” he said tonelessly. 

Allen narrowed his eyes at him.

Shrugging, Lavi looked away, mentally reminding himself that they were just ink on paper. All of them. 

“Even Yuu,” he muttered to himself.

A part of him scoffed in disbelief.

** 

When Komui finally emerged, he remained tightlipped, refusing to say anything on Yuu’s condition until they were gathered in his office. 

“All right,” Komui sighed, falling back into his chair. He tossed his beret on the desk and ran his hands through his hair, then over his face. “All right,” he said again, hands dropping into his lap lifelessly. Pursing his lips, he turned his chair to face them straight on. “Kanda’s condition is serious.”

“How serious?” Allen demanded.

“Very. Whilst his wounds have healed fully, with zero physical repercussions, we, like the town doctor, are concerned about any mental or psychological damage his head wound may have had.”

“And has it?” Lavi asked, resting his chin in his hand as he propped his elbow on the couch’s armrest.

Komui looked pensive as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Yes,” he said at last, forcing the word out reluctantly. “Yes, we believe it has.”

Lavi glanced to his side briefly as Lenalee’s breath shuddered out of her. The Chinese girl clenched her hands in her skirt, drew her shoulders up near her ears defensively, and bowed her head. “Gege,” she said quietly. “Please explain.”

“Kanda has finally awakened. He’s been conscious a few times, though never more than for a couple of minutes. In this time, we’ve run various tests to assess his condition. While there are no set backs to his speech and he’s had no trouble understanding English, he’s spoken mostly in Japanese the few times that he has spoken. All five of his senses seem to be in working condition, with special attention of course being paid to his sight and hearing. He also passed the Glasgow Coma Scale easily. There was no trouble with his eyes or his speech, as mentioned, and his motor functions are operating just fine.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Lavi asked.

Komui sighed, took of his glasses, and dropped them on his desk beside his beret. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “The problem is his memory.”

“His memory?” Allen echoed, frowning.

“As in there is none.”

“ _None_?”

“We didn’t notice it when he first woke up. He was groggy and disorientated and we were more concerned about checking for major side effects that would need to be dealt with as early as possible to ensure they didn’t become long-lasting. It wasn’t until he woke up for a second time that we noticed. We’ve done as many tests as we can, trying to figure out if it’s temporary amnesia, exactly how much of his memory he’s lost, and if it’s permanent. There’s nothing. Not a single intact memory. We also believe that it may be permanent. Understandably, Kanda’s emotional spectrum keeps bouncing between docile, confused, wary, frightened, and outright violent and angry. None of this, however, is the biggest problem.”

Lenalee was sobbing, chest heaving. Lavi bit down on his own anger and let Allen deal with the issue. Instead, Lavi asked the obvious: “how is that _not_ the biggest issue?”

Komui was silent for a moment as he took them all in. His next words were directed solely at Lavi. “His file.”

Lavi sat up a little straighter. “What about it?”

“Lvellie finds out about this and he’ll do anything to get his hands on Kanda.”

Lavi nodded in understanding. “It’s a chance to reattempt the Second Exorcist Project all over again. This time - “

“Without any mistakes. Exactly. No flaws, no problems, no repeat of the Alma Karma incident. Kanda will be the perfect soldier. It’ll be easier since he’s no longer a child. He should be easier to mould because there are no physical or psychological developments to be concerned about.”

“Yuu’s already emotionally stunted,” Lavi muttered.

“Yes, but at least he _has_ emotions,” Komui pointed out. “At this point in time, in his condition, Kanda Yuu is a prized jewell to the Order. To the Church. He’s -”

“The hell are you two going on about?” Allen demanded. “Why is Kanda under threat from Lvellie?”

Lavi shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too complicated right now. I’ll explain what I can later on.” He addressed Komui again. “What were you about to say?”

“Kanda’s under serious threat right now, and I don’t intend to let him come to harm.”

“So what are you thinking? Wait, is Yuu even still synced with Mugen?”

Komui grit his teeth and shook his head. “All of his memory really is gone, his motor memory included. His system doesn’t remember Mugen, and thus is no longer synced with it.”

Lavi swore and clenched his fists. It really was the perfect opportunity for Lvellie to start all over again.

“What?” Allen exclaimed. “What do you mean he’s not synced with his Innocence? The _hell_ is going on! Someone start explaining. _Now_.”

“Gege, Lavi, please,” Lenalee begged. “Why is Kanda in danger? We want to help.”

“You’ve helped enough,” Lavi told her coldly. “Komui, quick. It’s not going to take long for word to reach the higher ups. What do you have planned?”

“Even if Lvellie finds out about Kanda’s condition in the next hour, I don’t expect his arrival until tomorrow morning. Which means we have the rest of this evening and tonight to get Kanda out of here. There’s a small village in Japan that we’ve located. It’s off the radar enough that Lvellie won’t find it without some struggle, but we can still keep an eye on Kanda if necessary. We’ve already sent word out to the locals and have made contact with the small village council and they’ve agreed to take Kanda under their wing. We’ll give him a new life, with no trace of the Order whatsoever.”

Lavi’s gut twisted at the thought, despite knowing that this was the best thing for the Japanese Exorcist. Komui was of course right in knowing that Lavi had memorised Yuu’s file from beginning to end, and Lavi was strangely relieved to know that for once, Yuu could be completely and utterly free of the Order and the torment it’d put him through. He wouldn’t even remember it.

This realisation also made him feel strangely ill. He wouldn’t even remember it… _any_ of it.

Swallowing thickly, Lavi ignored the strange ache in his chest. “When does he leave?” he asked hoarsely. 

“I’ve agreed with Bookman to let you take him, Lavi, for your records.”

Lavi nodded slowly. The ache in his chest grew that much stronger. “All right then. When do _we_ leave?”

“In an hour.”

 **


	2. Chapter One

**Global Concepts**

_Chapter One_

_**_

_I think it burns my sense of truth_

_To hear me shouting at my youth_

_I need a way to sort it out._

_After I die, I'll re-awake,_

_Redefine what was at stake_

_From the hindsight of a god._

_I'll see the people that I use,_

_See the substance I abuse,_

_The ugly places that I lived._

_Did I make money? Was I proud?_

_Did I play my songs too loud?_

_Did I leave my life to chance_

_Or did I make you fucking dance?_

_**_

_10 Months Later_

Kanda huffed and straightened. He pressed his dirty palms to his lower back and arched, stretching out his weary muscles. His shirt was soaked through with sweat and all of him felt filthy. The sun beat down relentlessly.

"Oi," he called, squinting up at the sun. He could see clouds building in the distance but they wouldn't hit until well into the night. "When are we stopping for lunch?"

"Brat," the man beside him muttered fondly. He too straightened and massaged his sore muscles. His tanned skin glistened with sweat and his crows feet creased dramatically as he followed Kanda's gaze to the midday sun. "Yuu's right, Iwao," Mamoru called out. "I think it's as good a time as any to stop and take a break."

Iwao was an impressive hulking man. It always amazed Kanda that the man had ended up working in the fields instead of some other laborious job where his sheer size and strength would be a serious advantage. "All right, I concede," he joked, his face, red from exertion and sun exposure, breaking into a broad smile. "Let's take a break, men!" he hollered.

As they began to trudge from the fields to the nearby trees providing shade, Kanda came up beside Mamoru. "Oi," he grumbled lowly, jabbing the man in the arm lightly. "How many times have I told you not to call me Yuu?"

Mamoru smiled warmly and nudged him. "I'm getting old,  _Yuu_. I don't think I heard you correctly. Were you just telling me how much you loved being called Yuu? Why didn't you say so!"

Kanda scoffed and pulled away before the man could throw an arm around his shoulders. "You heard me damn fine."

"Don't cuss at your elders," Mamoru warned. "Especially not your father."

"You're not my father."

Mamoru laughed. "I feed you, clothe you, provide you with a bed and a warm home. I might as well be your father! Ah, what's this? Are you trying not to smile? C'mon, Yuu, smile for your Otousan."

"All right, all right!" Kanda conceded, pushing the man away. He sneered at him briefly instead of smiling. "But still: don't call me Yuu."

The group of 20 or so workers settled under the trees. Kanda sat at the edge of where the new dam was being carved out. His legs dangled over and he hit his heels against the dirt twice by habit before starting on the bento that Mamoru had been kind enough to prepare for him that morning.

Mamoru sat beside him with a noisy sigh. "I really am getting old," he huffed, opening his own bento. "Here," he said, using his chopsticks to take some of his soba and put it in Kanda's bento. "Have some more. I know it's your favourite."

"Mamoru - "

"Just eat, brat."

Kanda nodded once. "Thank you…" he muttered, using the chopsticks to bring some of the soba to his mouth. He chewed slowly, gaze shuttered as he stared out at the dam project.

"How you doing these days, kid?" Mamoru asked quietly. "You never talk to me."

"I'm fine."

"And your head?"

"Also fine."

"Would you tell me if you got one of your headaches again?"

"Probably not," Kanda admitted, taking another mouthful of the soba.

Mamoru sighed and squeezed Kanda's shoulder fondly. "Well, if you say you're fine, then you're fine. What about - "

Kanda hissed and set his chopsticks down. "Jesus, Mamoru, everything's fine. I'd - "

"You would not tell me. You just admitted to it."

Kanda pursed his lips. "You're getting old, remember? Your hearing is going. I'm sure I told you that I would tell you."

"Hey!" Mamoru laughed, cuffing Kanda up the back of the head. "Watch it, brat. I'll be serving you burnt soba next time round." He settled back and watched Kanda eat. "But honestly, Yuu, there's - "

"Nothing," Kanda said bitterly. He looked down at his lunch. He wasn't hungry anymore. "There's still nothing. No faces, no names, nothing." He slid the lid back onto his bento and stood. He bowed to Mamoru. "Thank you for lunch. I'm going to head back to the fields."

"Yuu, hang on a minute - "

"Yuu!"

Kanda started, almost dropping his lunch. The syllable of his first name was accented but it was said with such familiarity and yet Kanda couldn't place the voice. He turned to see who it was, ready to chew out whoever had dared called him by his first name, when his foot, too close to the edge, sunk into a loose piece of dirt and gave way from underneath him.

This time it was Mamoru who shouted his name.

Needless to say, he dropped his lunch.

**

Lavi slid down out of the saddle, stroked his fingers down the length of his horse's nose, then turned to observe the fields. They stretched out across the land but each seemed to operate in their own circle. There were groups of 20 or so men scattered about, each attending to their allocated slot of land. To the right, a large chunk of the earth had been dug out. Going from the size and location, Lavi guessed it was the new dam project the village council had mentioned to him 10 months ago.

"10 months, huh, Yuu?" Lavi muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "I wonder how you are now?"

A group of workers, closest to the dam, caught his attention as they began to come in for lunch. Lavi smiled slowly, watching as a man in his forties sat himself at the edge of the dam, beside one of the younger workers.

"There he is, Spot," Lavi said quietly, stroking his horse again. Spot's original owner had not been impressed with Lavi's name choice. "Guess I'd better head on down and say hi…"

Leaving Spot to himself, Lavi started down the hill for the group of workers seated under the trees. The midday sun was relentless and Lavi shrugged uncomfortably under the heavy weight of his cloak. His Exorcist uniform was packed away in one of the saddle bags. He'd thought it best not to wear it, for fear of Yuu's reaction to it and the possibility that one of the villagers may recognise the Order's crest. The village council had been notified that an Exorcist was in the area to check on Yuu's condition, but they weren't aware as to who exactly was swinging by, and for now, that's how Lavi intended it to stay.

As he neared, the workers began to glance up from their work, no doubt curious as to the redheaded foreigner visiting their small village. He nodded at them but continued past them, sights still set on the resting crew. His gaze locked onto the pair sitting at the dam's edge and he grinned, spotting the younger of the two rising.

"Yuu!" he called out, raising an arm to wave. There was this burning knowledge that this was him, despite it not being the Kanda Yuu that the Black Order once knew.

Yuu's head jerked in his direction. Lavi watched him pivot on his feet, no doubt to chew him out for calling him Yuu. Lavi hoped that at least that much about the fierce Japanese teen hadn't changed. Before he could address Yuu again, though, the Japanese boy's foot hit a loose chunk of earth and he tumbled down.

The man who had been eating lunch with him shot to his feet with a shout of Yuu's name and Lavi ran to join him. The workers stood from their places and they too joined the older man at the dam's edge.

Yuu had managed to catch himself half way down and, swearing beautifully, began to climb back up. Lavi laughed joyfully and crouched down, reaching out a hand to Yuu to help him up over the edge and onto solid ground.

"Yuu," the old man said, taking Yuu's shoulders in his hands as he ran his gaze over the youth's form. "Are you ok?"

Yuu shook him off and began to brush himself down. "I'm fine, Mamoru," he muttered. He realised that everyone had gathered and scowled. "I'm fine!"

"Now, now," Lavi stirred, his Japanese flawless but for the accent. "That's not very nice. They're just concerned, Yuu."

Again, Yuu's head jerked in his direction. This time, Lavi's hand shot out to take Yuu's forearm. He wasn't entirely sure why he did it. Yuu wasn't close enough to the edge to go for another fall, so Lavi put it down to old habits. He wasn't about to take a hit from Yuu two minutes into their joyous reunion.

He took the opportunity to admire Yuu's appearance. 10 months of recovering and living in the village had tanned his pale skin, making it golden and sun kissed. He'd cut his hair but with his hair pulled back into a ponytail, Lavi couldn't be sure of the length.

"Don't call me that," Yuu growled, eyeing Lavi up warily. His gaze dropped to Lavi's hand on his arm. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Yuu," Mamoru admonished. "He helped you up."

"He's the reason I went fall - ah," Yuu gasped, head ducking down between his shoulders as he opened his mouth around a wince. He exhaled loudly and quickly, grimacing. His free hand came up to dig his knuckles into his temple.

"Yuu?" Mamoru asked quietly, placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Are you ok?"

Lavi ducked his head to try see Yuu's face. His teeth were clenched and bared as he narrowed his eyes against the pain. His breath shuddered out of him and he winced again.

"Is it your head?" Mamoru continued. He reached back and tugged Yuu's hair free. It fell down to hang around his shoulders. "Here. This will relieve some of the pressure hopefully."

Lavi fought back a grimace. The sight was strangely painful. Yuu looked nothing like himself. "Yuu," Lavi murmured. "It's your head, isn't it? Does this happen a lot?"

"Here." A large man came up to them and held out a flask. "Give him some water and sit him down. Just relax, Yuu."

"Iwao's right," Mamoru said. "Let's sit you down, Yuu."

Yuu shook his head, eyes squeezed shut. He forced them open and glared. "Would everyone stop calling me that," he panted.

Lavi chuckled and ruffled Yuu's bangs. "I think that's the least of your worries right now, Yuu-Chan."

Yuu went rigid. Lavi glanced down at where he was still gripping Yuu's forearm. The muscles were so tense they were bulging. His gaze snapped up to Yuu's face the same time Yuu looked to him, and they locked gazes.

Lavi narrowed his eye slightly.  _You recognise it, don't you, Yuu-Chan?_

Yuu's lashes fluttered.

"Yuu…?" Lavi murmured, taking a step closer. "Yuu-Chan," he said again, adding a musical lilt to it as he used to do.

Yuu's knees buckled, eyes rolling back into his head. There were shouts of his name and Lavi cursed, bending at the knees quickly to loop his arm around Yuu's back. He huffed as he slipped his other arm under Yuu's knees and hefted the older teen up into his arms.

"All right," Lavi said, careful to make sure Yuu's head was resting against his chest. He shifted Yuu in his arms a bit, fingers gnarling in briefly before he forced them to relax. "Does this happen often?" When he looked up, he found the group of workers staring at him suspiciously. He laughed nervously and shifted Yuu in his arms again. "Uh…"

"Who are you?" Mamoru demanded, arms folded over his chest. "How do you know Yuu?"

Lavi smiled as disarmingly as possible. "I knew him a long time ago. We're old acquaintances." His Bookman instincts came forward and he pushed for information. "He didn't seem to recognise me though… I suppose it has been a while."

Mamoru dismissed this. "Yuu had… an accident at the beginning of the year. He lost his memory."

"Oh," Lavi said, glancing down at Yuu with surprise. "I'm sorry to hear that. This accident, I don't suppose it had to do with a head injury?"

Mamoru narrowed his eyes at him.

Lavi continued quickly. "Just, his head was clearly bothering him, and the only reason I can think of for him to have lost his memory is either some form of trauma or a head wound."

"Yes," Mamoru ground out at last. "It was a head injury. Please, set him down under the trees. I'll organise for a horse and cart and take him back home."

"Ah, that's all right," Lavi said cheerfully. "Is Yuu doing all right lately? Has any of his memory begun to return?"

"No. Now set him down, please. It's very kind of you to help him but as Yuu doesn't recognise you, unfortunately I'm not sure I can trust what you say. I'm sure you understand."

"I do, I do. But honestly, I'm not lying to you. And I'd be happy to take him home so that you can continue with your work. My horse is just - huh…" Lavi nodded slowly, gaze ghosting all over the hill, the road and the fields. "I seem to have lost my horse."

Mamoru raised a brow. "Yes, it would seem so. I will not ask again. Please set Yuu down."

"Mamoru, let him take the boy home," a man said, stepping forward from the crowd.

"Jirou - "

"It's all right," Jirou said, meeting Lavi's gaze head on.

Lavi straightened up somewhat and held Yuu to him tighter. He knew the man. He was on the village council. Lavi didn't doubt that he was in charge of the fields. He glanced down at Yuu's face as he heard the Japanese teen release a small whimper. His brow was furrowed, eyes clenched shut. Sweat was beginning to bead along his forehead and Lavi doubted it was due to the midday sun.

"Please, it's best to get Yuu home as soon as possible, is it not?" Lavi argued.

"Mamoru, tell the young man the directions to your home," Jirou said. Mamoru made to protest but Jirou held a hand up. "It is all right. What he says is true. He knows Yuu."

"Jirou - "

"He  _knows_ , Mamoru." Jirou sent Mamoru a meaningful look.

Mamoru backed down and nodded begrudgingly. He looked at Lavi, expression stony. "Head north along the road."

**

Lavi set the cup down on the bench and licked his lips, catching any stray drops of water. He'd been parched. Yuu was light, but only so light, and he'd carried the unconscious teen for a good 20 minutes in the midday sun, dressed in a heavy cloak.

Inhaling deeply, Lavi let it out slowly, fingers still wrapped around the cup he'd found in one of the cupboards. The house was small but adequate. There were two bedrooms and the kitchen, dining and living all fed into each other. Lavi had found the one bathroom when he'd wanted to wash the dirt and sweat off his face. He'd also, possibly, only slightly, looked through the small cupboard in the bathroom. He'd found herbs and medicines designed for pain relief, some of them expensive. Some, to his surprise, had still been the ones quickly prescribed to Yuu before he was transported from the Order.

A whimper caught Lavi's attention and he looked up sharply. He heard it again and titled his head, green eye drifting in the direction of Yuu's bedroom. He left his cup on the bench and moved to check on Yuu.

The room was stuffy. Lavi moved to the small window and cracked it open, then drew the curtains. The sun was shining directly onto Yuu's face and the redhead doubted that it was doing much to help Yuu's headache. Next he took up the small metal basin he'd found and filled with water, dipped in the washcloth he'd located in the bathroom, wrung it out, and draped it across Yuu's bare chest.

Yuu hissed at him in his sleep, teeth baring themselves briefly. Lavi chuckled lightly and swept aside the dark strands of hair that were sticking to Yuu's sweaty skin.

"There, there, Yuu-Chan," he cooed, tracing Yuu's tattoo with a steady finger. He pressed his palm flat to Yuu's chest, felt the rapid beating of the other teen's heart. A glance at the sharp furrow between Yuu's brows confirmed that Yuu was suffering some sort of torment in his sleep, only heightening his pain.

Lavi's gaze trailed down slowly, settling on Yuu's parted lips. They were red and tender from a combination of the sun and the countless times Yuu had bitten them in the past hour. A pink tongue kept peeking out to try soothe them and they glistened wetly with saliva. Add the flush to his cheeks, the sweat on his skin, the tangles in his hair, and Yuu almost looked more debauched than ill.

Swallowing thickly, Lavi glanced at where he'd subconsciously taken Yuu's hand. He turned Yuu's palm over slowly, inspected his fingers and knuckles, prodded lightly at the bones to feel their structure. He squeezed Yuu's hand and then, without even consciously making the decision, Lavi swung himself up onto the bed to hover over Yuu on all fours.

Yuu stiffened, sensing Lavi's too close presence. Lavi lowered his head, keeping his gaze level with Yuu's closed eyes. Their noses brushed past one another and Yuu's lips parted to let out a shaky breath. Lavi breathed it in and felt his chest go unbearably tight. He grimaced and clenched his free hand in his shirt over his heart. It hurt. A lot.

"Yuu-Chan," he breathed, singing the name across Yuu's lips. He brushed his nose past Yuu's again and then over a high, flushed cheekbone. He settled his lips at Yuu's ear. "Yuu-Chan…"

Yuu pressed his head back into the pillow and his breath shuddered out of him as he arched his back, his chest pressing firmly against Lavi's. He made a strange noise, somewhere between a whine and a whimper, in the back of his throat and bit down on his bottom lip.

Lavi's gaze was immediately drawn to that bottom lip. He lifted his free hand, still more than content to leave his other entangled with Yuu's, to swipe his thumb slowly over Yuu's abused lips. He pulled down on the bottom lip gently, revealing clenched teeth, and Lavi smiled knowingly.

He finally released Yuu's hand and braced himself with his hands either side of Yuu's head. He tilted his head, running his gaze over Yuu's form. Working in the fields had ensured that Yuu remained fit and lean, his skin bronzed. But it was the shorter hair that Lavi couldn't get past. He ran a hand through it then took a fistful of it and tugged, jerking Yuu's head back to reveal a column of skin that Lavi had once been well acquainted with.

"Hey, Yuu-Chan?" he whispered, brushing his nose over Yuu's pulse. "Once… upon… a time…" He pressed his lips ever so lightly to Yuu's skin and dragged them up, up, up to the hinge at the other teen's jaw. Yuu shuddered beneath him and Lavi's gaze shuttered. "Hey, Yuu-Chan…"

He settled himself on his forearms, bringing himself closer to Yuu. Now he definitely knew he was crossing lines. Yuu didn't remember. If he woke up now Lavi would be more than screwed but that was the problem. That was the reason for this strange self-torture.  _Lavi_ remembered. He remembered. Every time, every moment, every stolen chance, every fleeting press of chapped lips, every sweet breath, every breathless call of his name.

Lavi squeezed his eye shut and shook his head violently. With a gasp for air, he wrenched his eye open again and studied Yuu's face slowly as he cupped it. He brushed his thumbs over Yuu's cheeks, felt the heat in them from the fever, and again without any conscious decision, slowly lowered his lips to Yuu's. He paused, so close he could feel each puff of air as Yuu breathed. Licking his lips, Lavi tilted his head and -

Stopped.

His gaze on Yuu's lips sharpened as they moved around a two syllable name. Pulling back, Lavi readjusted the damp cloth on Yuu's chest and climbed off the bed. He fetched his cloak from where he'd hung it on the door handle. Glancing one last time in Yuu's direction, Lavi let out a quiet 'heh' and left.


	3. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo rather than studying and finishing my copious amount of assignments due in the next couple of weeks I've written this! Oops? Thank you so much for your dear reviews! Enjoy~

**Global Concepts**

_Chapter Two_

_**_

_I think it burns my sense of truth_

_To hear me shouting at my youth_

_I need a way to sort it out._

_After I die, I'll re-awake,_

_Redefine what was at stake_

_From the hindsight of a god._

_I'll see the people that I use,_

_See the substance I abuse,_

_The ugly places that I lived._

_Did I make money? Was I proud?_

_Did I play my songs too loud?_

_Did I leave my life to chance_

_Or did I make you fucking dance?_

**

Lavi stared sightlessly at the dying fire. The wood crackled occasionally. Sometimes a spark would fly into the air. As it was, though, it was mostly charred wood and hot embers. The light it was managing to still produce pulsed like water as it fought back the shadows.

"Lavi?"

Lavi blinked and shook his head, drawing himself upright. He stretched out his fingers, watched the fire die a little more, saw the darkness soak up the light a little more, then turned his attention to the golem hovering beside him.

"Sorry, Allen, you were saying?"

He could hear the other's concern in his voice. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

"How is… everything?"

Lavi raised a brow. "Everything?"

"I dunno…" the younger teen sulked. "The town. The villagers. Where you're staying." There was a beat. "Kanda."

"Oh," Lavi said, tilting his head. He pursed his lips for a moment. He could feel the phantom puff of Yuu's breath against them, the feverish warmth that had flooded Yuu's cheeks. He could feel how perfectly their fingers still fit together. "Good. It's all very… good."

"All of it?"

"All of it," Lavi echoed tonelessly. "It's all very good."

"Lavi…"

"I'm supposed to be meeting the village council in the morning," Lavi said. He stood from the couch. The council had been generous when they'd given him board. He'd been provided his own small house. It was tiny, but it was private and it beat an inn any day. He had his own bedroom, lounge, kitchen - all his own, no one to see. "And I'm beat from the travelling. I'm headed to bed, Allen. Say hello to Lenalee for me."

"Ok," Allen agreed grudgingly. "Good night, Lavi. Sleep well."

Lavi caught his golem out of the air and ended the connection. He threw it onto the couch, scoffed at it, and turned on his heel. The sound of Yuu's breathing chased him down the hall and Lavi walked faster, faster, faster. He threw open the door to his bedroom, stumbling over his own feet in his attempt to get away from the memory, and slammed the door shut before he could hear Yuu say that name again.

Panting hard, he slid down the door gracelessly. He coasted his gaze over the room, taking in his Exorcist uniform, his Innocence, his logbooks. Mugen. Lavi hissed to himself and squeezed his eye shut. He hadn't known at the time why he'd brought it. It'd been some stupid, shitty human attempt at hope. Maybe Yuu was remembering. Maybe he would remember, could be guided back through the maze of his own mind to grab what fragments and fractured images he could.

_Me. Remember me, Yuu, remember_ _**me** _ _._

His lips tingled and he opened them subconsciously, preparing to swallow down Yuu's exhale as he had so many times in the past. But there it was again, that name again. Lavi gasped and slammed his head back against the door, eye wide.

It looked like his stupid, shitty human attempt at hope was becoming a reality.

**

It was the screaming that woke Mamoru. He jerked up in bed, dark eyes searching the room wildly whilst his brain tried to catalogue the reason for the surge in adrenaline, the call to reality. His mind flitted over the past few hours: coming home, checking on Yuu, having dinner, checking on -

Yuu.

Mamoru ripped off the covers and stumbled for the corridor.

Yuu had been whimpering and fidgeting in his sleep, sheets drenched in sweat and twisted wildly around his limbs as he fought back feverish hallucinations. Mamoru had done what he could to soothe him, watching as Yuu clawed his arms raw and gnawed his lips to a bloody mess. Getting the fever to break was taking longer than he would have hoped.

Yuu's bedroom door was still open. He'd left it that way just in case of this - not something specifically like this, Mamoru reminded himself as he climbed onto the bed to wrap his arms around the screaming youth. He'd never thought he'd be squeezing his arms around Yuu's torso and ignoring the vice-like fingers that tried to rip his grip off while he called Yuu back. Not again, not like he'd had to do when Yuu was first brought to him, unconscious but for the times he screamed himself awake.

Back then, the night terrors had lasted for all of a week. Yuu didn't remember them, didn't remember anything from before his second day of consciousness. In the 10 months that had passed, Yuu had suffered from headaches and migraines, but never these nightmares again.

"Shh, Yuu," he soothed, wincing as Yuu's elbow cracked him in the ribs. "I'm here, now. You're safe." He tilted his head to see the other's face. As he'd expected, Yuu's eyes were wide and frightened, lashes wet with tears. His gaze was skittish, jumping from one corner of the room to the other as his body trembled in Mamoru's hold. "Yuu…?" Mamoru ventured, easing his grip slowly so as to not startle the other.

"I'm awake," he choked out, voice tight with fear. "I'm awake… I'm awake… I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm awake," he chanted, hissing it out on each breath as he brought his clenched fists up to his brow and dug his knuckles in mercilessly.

"All right," Mamoru murmured, shifting back from Yuu to give him some space. "All right, Yuu, you're all right now." He felt his joints ache as he stood from the bed. The adrenaline had masked the pain before but now he was sore, weathered down both from work and age. He flexed his hands with a grimace and a sigh. "All right, Yuu," he repeated, gently taking the other by the shoulders. When Yuu inhaled sharply, body going rigid, Mamoru retreated quickly and waited until Yuu had relaxed before trying again. He guided the other to lay back down and shook out the sheets before draping them over Yuu. "You're ok," he said, brushing back the boy's hair fondly. He let his thumb trace over one of his brows and down the bridge of his nose. Yuu's lashes fluttered tiredly. "You're ok…"

He waited until Yuu had fallen back into slumber before retreating to his own bedroom once more. He crawled into bed, groaning as he lay down. He was getting old. Moving so agilely wasn't one of his capabilities anymore, and his body was letting him know it.

Sighing as his head hit the pillow, Mamoru closed his eyes and ran his thoughts back over what had just happened. Lavi's arrival and the reappearance of Yuu's night terrors couldn't be a coincidence, but then, Mamoru couldn't disregard Yuu's fever as the possible cause. He frowned suddenly, replaying Yuu's screams over and over and over until - his eyes shot open.

 _There_.

**

Kanda woke slowly. He was still tired but he'd slept solidly. He must have, because he couldn't remember dreaming. He frowned. Actually, he couldn't remember much at all. More than what he usually couldn't remember. He ran through the previous day's events, getting so far as Lavi's arrival before things got fuzzy.

Lavi's voice had been familiar in a way that he couldn't understand. His Japanese had been fluent, with the slightest of British accents, but it was more than that. The way the redhead had said his name.  _Yuu_. It reminded him of how Mamoru said it, but different again.

Groaning, Kanda rolled his eyes at himself. This was getting him nowhere. He moved on.

His head had started hurting. It'd felt like his skull was splitting open. It'd begun with the phantom pain he always felt, sharp and relentless, on the left side of his head, and had only increased in severity.

It was from that point that the details got really fuzzy and Kanda forced himself to sit upright as he thought hard, wading through murky waters as he tried to catch ahold of - of - of  _something_.

_I think that's the least of your worries right now, Yuu-Chan._

Kanda's eyes narrowed.

_Yuu-Chan…_

For a brief moment, Kanda went rigid. The synapses in his brain were firing wildly, his head aching like it did whenever he tried to recall…  _anything_. A name, a place, a colour, a stupid, shitty moment in time that lasted for all of 10 seconds.  _Anything_.

 _Yuu-Chan_ …

Kanda breathed out slowly, the tension seeping out of him. His eyes shuttered to half-mast, hands sitting limply in his lap. His head bowed forward, hair curtaining his face.

_Yuu-Chan…_

Sighing quietly, Kanda parted his lips subconsciously and tilted his head, eyes falling shut. His hair slipped over his back, baring his left shoulder and collarbone to the room, as well as the pale column of his throat. A phantom touch settled at his pulse before trailing up, up, up to ghost over his jaw.

_Once… upon… a time… hey, Yuu-Chan?_

Kanda's eyes shot open and he shivered violently. He rocked forward, hands slamming flat against the mattress as he gagged, body threatening to heave. His breath burst free of him in harsh pants as he stared at the sheets, eyes wide. The  _hell_  was going on with him lately?!

Furious, Kanda punched the mattress and sat up straight. He threw off the covers and pushed to his feet, stamping childishly on the sheets before he jumped down from the bed and stormed out of the room. Vertigo attacked him viciously and he twisted awkwardly, avoiding a nasty collision with the wall. He continued forward, refusing to give in to something so stupid as a dizzy spell.

"Oh, Yuu," Mamoru greeted as the Japanese teen stormed into the small kitchen. "You're up. How are you feeling?"

Kanda catalogued the worry in the other man's expression and bit down his anger. "Fine," he admitted, sliding into a seat at the table. "Really tired, but otherwise, fine."

Mamoru sat across from him, brow furrowed, and nodded. "All right. That's good, then. Don't worry about working today. Jirou and Iwao both agreed you need a day to recover."

Kanda lowered his gaze and pursed his lips.

_Don't snap, don't snap._

"Thank you," he said quietly. "I will bring the men lunch."

"Ah, that's not necessary, Yuu," Mamoru said, taking a sip from his tea. Watching this, Kanda realised just how parched he was and licked his lips. "Just focus on resting." Mamoru smiled slowly. "There's a tea waiting for you on the bench."

Kanda smirked at the man and stood. As he retrieved the tea and cupped it in his hands, enjoying its warmth, Mamoru spoke up again.

"Do you remember what happened?"

Kanda stiffened. The tea suddenly tasted bitter and foul, and he fought back against his body's instinct to spit it out. Instead, he forced it down. Swallowing was painful, his throat tight and closed off. His chest ached because of it.

"Not much," he admitted at last. "I remember getting a headache at the fields and that's about it."

"You collapsed," Mamoru supplied. He twisted in his seat to observe Kanda. "Lavi brought you back."

_Yuu-Chan…_

Kanda almost dropped his tea. He set it down quickly and hid his shaking hands. "Lavi? The British man. Why him?"

"He says he used to know you."

"Well, I don't remember him," Kanda dismissed. He looked out the window, jaw clenched. "Tell him thank you and if he asks, no, I do not wish to speak with him."

He heard Mamoru sigh. "All right, I shall let him know," Mamoru agreed. "Do you remember anything else? Anything from last night?"

Kanda frowned slowly. Last night? He narrowed his eyes, thinking hard. Slowly it came to him, but after this morning, he wasn't sure what was real, what was some phantom from his imagination. He kept feeling fingers intertwined with his, the lingering touch at his pulse and jawline. He could remember breathing someone else in, choking on it. Fever. It was hot. Fire. Fire hot. Shit, there was a fire. There were plenty. Small ones. Electrical ones. And Gods, what had he tripped on? White and red and familiar and what the hell was he supposed to feel because they were  _dead_  but they'd caused him so much -

"Yuu!"

With a gasp, Kanda's eyes shot open. Mamoru's worried face was in front of him. Above him? Kanda glanced around. He'd been made to sit down at the table again. His tea was spilt on the ground, the cup smashed.

"It's Kanda," he said roughly, shrugging his shoulders up near his ears to fight back a shudder.

"Are you ok?" Mamoru cupped his forehead and clucked his tongue. "The fever is gone…" He examined Kanda's arms and lips next. "And you've healed already."

Kanda avoided his gaze. They tended to avoid discussing his strange healing abilities, neither one of them sure if it was a curse or a blessing. "What do you mean?"

"You scratched yourself raw last night."

"I had a fever."

Mamoru nodded at him. "Yes. You bit your lips so hard and so often that they were bloody."

Kanda swept his gaze across the floorboards. He could feel a pressure on his chest. Two, actually. The weight of another body - which he shooed away and catalogued as part of his phantom imagination - and the strength of arms wrapped around him. He sighed and rubbed a hand across his forehead. "A night terror. I had one, didn't I?"

Mamoru echoed his sigh and sat down across from him. "You screamed yourself awake," he assured, and Kanda fought back an embarrassed grimace. He could remember his first few days of consciousness, never quite sure if he was awake or still dreaming. Screaming himself awake was the only way he'd been sure. "Do you remember what - "

"No," Kanda said harshly. He clenched his jaw. "No," he said again, softer this time. "I don't remember."

Mamoru nodded slowly. "There was a name, Yuu."

"…What?"

"There was a name. Just before you woke up, you screamed a name."

Kanda stared at the table sightlessly, eyes wide, mind racing. A name? Was it part of a dream or was it a memory? It had to be a memory. Dreams were memories. The faces in dreams were people he'd once known in real life. The doctor had told him so, hoping it might help Kanda retrieve bits and pieces of his memory, but all Kanda ever dreamt of were the men in the fields and the people he passed in the village streets.

"Yuu?" Mamoru called softly. "Did you hear me?"

Kanda nodded jerkily. "Yeah," he breathed. He shook his head. "The name. Whose was it?"

**

Lavi sighed at the sight of the building. He'd walked into the small village square and approached the largest and most ornately decorated building in the village. It was their little 'town hall', when in reality, it was a just a two storey house - on the larger side, Lavi would admit - that they'd converted into their offices. They'd done well to keep it in immaculate condition though it always amused Lavi that it was the least Japanese building in the village. It looked more like it belonged on the streets of Europe, with its bricks and white awnings and perfectly trimmed hedges. Occasionally he wondered to the origin of the building, the history of it, but that wasn't the history he was in charge of recording right now. It didn't matter for his records - though Bookman probably would have recorded it anyway - and Lavi had more pressing matters to attend to.

 _Like whether or not those memories of yours are returning, Yuu-Chan_.

He took the three stairs up the front door and let himself in. It was a place of business, after all, and knocking would seem strange. He walked down the hallway, peering in at offices to see if there were any notable changes. The room they used for storage was littered with plan after plan for the construction of the new dam - more so than it had been - but otherwise, everything was as it had been 10 months ago.

He came to a desk, squeezed in against the wall. The corridor opened up onto what would have been a living area, but had been converted into a reception and waiting area. The stairs leading upstairs were to the left and Lavi glanced their way briefly as two men came down, talking quietly to themselves.

"Can I help you?"

Lavi blinked and smiled down at the petite woman seated behind the desk. This was where everything was thrown off kilter: feeling like he'd stepped into London only to have that shattered when addressed in Japanese.

"I'm here to meet with the village council."

She nodded and dropped her gaze to the appointment book spread out before her. "Your name, sir? There is nothing boo-"

Lavi smiled slowly as she broke off, dark eyes going wide at the sight of the Order's symbol thrust under her nose. Lavi had taken the time to ask for one of the badges usually sewn onto the uniform before leaving. He could carry it around with him incase he needed to pull some sort of rank, without having to parade around in his uniform. The villagers, except for the council, weren't supposed to know of his presence in their village after all, lest word get back to Lvellie. Yuu, especially, wasn't to know, but that was for a different reason all together.

 _But, if your memory really is returning… maybe a little prompt couldn't hurt_.

"V-Very well, sir," she stuttered, pushing back from her desk. She moved around it, clearly flustered, and avoided his gaze. "Please follow me. They're waiting for you in the conference room."

"They're waiting for me, huh?" he said, more to himself.

He followed her up the stairs and nodded at her as she stopped in front of a set of closed doors and bowed to him. He waited until he heard her going back down the stairs before entering.

As she had told him, the council, made up of 10 men, were seated around the table. They didn't appear surprised by his appearance and Lavi raised a brow, closing the door slowly behind him. Geez, they really had been expecting him. His gaze landed on Jirou, the man from the fields. He knew from last time that the man had large pull in the council and he wouldn't have been surprised if they'd been expecting him because of Jirou's report.

"Morning," he greeted, coming to stand in front of the table. He folded his arms over his chest. "The Black Order sends their greetings."

The men murmured quietly to each other, as unnerved and revered as last time to be in the presence of an Exorcist of the Black Order. Lavi resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead tracing his tongue over the back of his teeth slowly.

Jirou hushed the group and smiled warmly at Lavi. "Please, Bookman Junior, take a seat."

Lavi nodded and sat in the nearest available chair. "I go by Lavi," he reminded. The villagers weren't supposed to know of the presence of the Bookman Junior, either. Nobody ever was supposed to really know, hence the use of the personas.

 _Idiots_.

"Ah," Jirou said, eyebrows raised in amusement. "In the same way that Yuu prefers to go by Kanda?"

Lavi's gaze sharpened on the older man.

Jirou chuckled. "Yuu-Chan is… You were quite fond with him at the fields yesterday. Quite familiar with him, too."

Irritation bubbled under the skin, irrational and unwanted. Lavi pushed it back down. "Yes, well," he said curtly. "I did fight a war with the man. Camaraderie runs deep."

"Yes,  _camaraderie_  does run deep," Jirou echoed, dark eyes twinkling. "As do other feelings of kinship. Even for a Bookman Junior, it would seem."

Lavi bristled. This is why he hated this place. This plan. This situation. As loathe as he was in admitting it, it did run deep in him, deeper than it ever should be allowed to. He'd managed to hide it at the Order but for some reason, he found it more difficult here.

_Because every time you are here, you let your emotions cloud your judgement._

Lavi scoffed at himself.

_Remember that heart you aren't supposed to have?_

"I believe the Order sent a messenger ahead of my arrival, explaining our situation?" Lavi said, moving away from the topic briskly.

The men shuffled in their seats, readjusting their posture to sit upright, gazes focused and serious.

Again, Jirou answered. "Yes. However, the details were rather vague. If you wouldn't mind…" He left the sentence hanging and Lavi nodded once to say he understood.

"As we explained when we first brought Exoricst Kanda Yuu to you, it was believed that his safety was in jeopardy due to an accident he had suffered a short time before his arrival here," Lavi began, gaze frosting over somewhat as he fell back on facts and lies, weaving words like an art form. "Despite the heavy Akuma presence here in Japan, this village lies far enough outside of the larger cities that it has not yet come across the radar of the Earl, the Noah or the Akuma. It was for this reason and the Order's belief that the best way to rehabilitate Exorcist Kanda Yuu in his new life would be to set him up somewhere he would be able to fit in seamlessly that your village was chosen. However, information has reached us that Exorcist Kanda Yuu's safety may once more be in jeopardy, and thus I have been sent to assess his environment's current risk level."

He was met with silence at first, and then the men began to chat amongst themselves. Lavi waited patiently, blinking slowly. The sun streamed in from the two large paned arched windows in the wall opposite him and he watched the dust spiral and glitter in the air.

"Thank you for your explanation, Bookman Junior," Jirou said, and Lavi held back a sharp glare by clenching his jaw. This man was no doubt trying to test his nerves. "But unfortunately your explanation is just as vague as your messenger's."

Lavi smiled slowly at him, though he felt it probably looked more like a smirk.

"Ah," Jirou said at last, brow creasing. "That is as much as we are going to know, for the moment, is it?"

Lavi nodded once. "Exorcist Kanda Yuu is one of the Order's prized - " He caught himself before using the word possession. "- Assets in this war. At least, he was. To acknowledge his service to the Black Order and what it has cost him, we have set him up here. However, all details surrounding the matter are official business of the Black Order. If we come to feel that there are details that are important for you to know, we will brief you on them. As it stands now, however -"

"We know all we're going to need to know," Jirou finished. He propped his elbows on the table and linked his fingers, resting his chin contemplatively atop his knuckles. "Fair enough."

Lavi ghosted his gaze over the table. It was clear that they weren't satisfied with such vague details. There was a veil being held over their eyes and they weren't able to lift it for themselves. That would only happen at the Order's say so but for now, that would have to be enough for them

Bracing his hands on his thighs, Lavi stood from his seat. "Thank you, gentlemen, for your assistance in this matter. The Black Order thanks you greatly."

He turned his back to them and moved to leave. As his hand settled on the brass doorknob, Jirou spoke up one last time.

"We fervently hope that no harm comes to Yuu-Chan whilst he is in our care."

Lavi stiffened, fighting back every reflex and instinct that demanded he turn and face Jirou, face the threat in his words and shut him down because God forbid he even so much as  _breathe_  in Yuu's vicinity and Lavi would kill him with his bare hands.

Instead, he sucked in a breath and rolled his shoulders. He shot a friendly smile at Jirou over his shoulder. "Don't worry," he said lightly, his smile widening to display exuberance and confidence. "I assure you that any and all threats to Exorcist Kanda Yuu's safety will be swiftly dealt with by yours truly, using whatever means I deem necessary. I will not see him come to harm. Good day, gentlemen."

He stayed long enough to see the dark look of anger cross Jirou's face before slipping into the corridor, laughter in his chest and fire in his gaze.

**


End file.
